He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
