Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
