at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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