may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
