Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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