yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've blown a few things in my day
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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