Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
