Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
