its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
