some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
