There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wish my penis had a tongue
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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