Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
