Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
