Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
