ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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