just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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