if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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