This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
