I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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