HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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