508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
