Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize