is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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