Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
