remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
