i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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