i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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