If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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