Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
