bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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