Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Everything about him screamed your future.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
