you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
do nipples grow back?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
