that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
