The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
