i'm lost and i look like a hooker
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
