The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
