i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Randomize