is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My ass is underappreciated
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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