I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Holy sore nipples Batman
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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