We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize