I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
