this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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