dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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