Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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