yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
