So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
