i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robitsâ€
Randomize
