Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
