just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
