Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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