If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
