Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
