I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
