So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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