She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
