I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
