I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He better not be in your backpack
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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