its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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